Character Voice: Authenticity & Inappropriateness

I recently talked about All The Bright Places and if you want the full summary and review you can read it here, but one thing that really hampered my enjoyment of the book was the language around anyone who wasn’t Finch or Violet. Anyone who wasn’t thin or white or male or straight — otherwise known as over half the world’s population — was described in ways that were either confusing or downright disgusting/derogatory. So, I’ve decided to once again use a book review as a springboard for a larger conversation about books, media, and writing in hopes that someone will learn from it. 

Charlie 

Let’s start with the most obvious and weird example: how Niven handles a Black character. Literally the first thing Niven writes about Charlie, Finch’s supposed best friend, is this “Charlie is black. Not CW black, but black-black. He also gets laid more than anyone else I know". Now, as I’ve stated before I have no idea what the heck “CW black” is. Truly, as a black person myself, I have never heard of “CW black” and I’m kinda afraid to ask. But I can assure you, no matter what it is, Niven is already trying to distance Charlie from some sort of stereotype or depiction she deems lesser or inappropriate. That should be good, right? Except she offers “black-black” as an alternative, which not only feels othering, but coming from a white woman, also feels...confusing? What about the black experience is she trying to emphasize here? Is she trading one stereotype for another? Because when I hear “black-black” from someone outside of the group, it’s typically all the negative stereotypes about black people all rolled into one as if that’s all we are. 

This isn’t even the only part of this quote that feels... problematic, for lack of better terms. Highlighting Charlie’s sexual nature as one of the first things we get to know about him is quite frankly gross. Black men historically have been outright sexualized as a way of dehumanizing them since slavery. Stereotypes about black men and boys being overt sexual beasts were commonplace and still are in some contexts. That thinking is a main component in why Emmet Till was murdered. Now, dear writer, you may think I’m overreacting and that’s not where Niven was going with her description of Charlie, and I too don't believe Niven had ill-intent when writing this. I personally think she was trying to dismantle the idea that Charlie would be undesirable because he’s black. By framing him as a ladies' man, she could try to flip the reader’s possible bias on its head. However, this being coupled with an insensitive, weirdly-phrased acknowledgement of Charlie’s blackness just before it casts this line in a whole new light and makes it feel more like Niven is stereotyping black men and boys, instead of trying to uplift or normalize them. 

These lines along with a later scene where Charlie is shown to be amazing at sports but refuses to join any sports team only because he "doesn’t want to be a stereotype" and we’re completely steeped in a black stereotype trifecta. 

Fixing Race Depictions 

So how would one fix this? If you’re trying to write a character that is a different race than you respectfully there’s a lot you can do. 

1. Treat them normally – that's right, write them as if they are just another character. Yes, there are plenty of cultural and sociopolitical differences between races that can manifest in how someone speaks, acts and thinks. But writing a character as human first is something many authors forget entirely. We all bleed the same, start there. 

2. Research, research, research – if there are cultural or sociopolitical elements that feel unavoidable for an authentic voice or are integral to the story you’re writing then instead of bumbling your way through by writing what you think audiences want to hear, do research! Speak to someone from that racial background, visit a community that is predominately of the race you want to depict, look up cultural norms. Do the work and you can make a 3-dimensional character 

3. Sensitivity readers – a good sensitivity reader that is the race of the character you’re writing can give you some good direction, especially if you’re worried. Because they are from that background, they can catch any little insensitivities or inconsistencies you may have missed before you go to print. So you can avoid, well, what Niven did. 

These tips can also easily apply to writing characters from any marginalized group (queer, women, disabled, immigrants, etc.).  

Mr. Black 

Another prominent character issue was with Mr. Black. His cardinal sin? Being fat. Niven describes him as “the largest man [Finch] has ever seen” and as audibly breathing and wheezing literally every time he speaks. In fact, the narrative makes a clear not of this by putting ellipses every place where Mr. Black would take a breath. Clearly, this is for a gag. Fat people on average do not wheeze with every natural break in their speech but making Mr. Black do so allows for some extra “punch” to his character by making him a caricature. Where caricatures don’t work is when they’re punching down.  

By now you may be familiar with the concept of punching down, but for those who don’t, essentially it’s the idea that making fun of marginalized groups through use of negative stereotypes, victim blaming, or otherwise positioning them as a subject to be mocked or ridiculed is always wrong/disgusting and never funny. Making the punchline of your domestic abuse joke “what did she [the victim] do to deserve it” is punching down. Your punchline being that “trans people are dumb for thinking they’re a different gender” is punching down. And in this case, making Mr. Black a caricature of a fat person who wheezes several times per sentence and “always looks on the verge of a heart attack/heat stroke” is punching down. It comes off as fat-shaming. 

Fixing Insensitive Jokes & Caricatures 

So how do we avoid situations like this, where we’re trying to make jokes about all different kinds of people, but want everyone to laugh, not just people outside of the group we’re joking about? Here’s some tips. 

1. Punch up – just as there’s punching down, there’s punching up, where instead of further ostracizing a marginalized group, you cast the perpetrators of their discrimination/ostracization in a negative light. Instead of making fun of a DV survivor, you make fun of the abuser. Instead of trans people, you single out conservative lawmakers/rude invasive people. Instead of fat people, the people who care all too much about someone else’s body. 

2. Get in on the community jokes – Oftentimes, a marginalized community will have jokes of their own that poke fun at themselves but don’t bring them down. Like when black people say when they sense danger, they’re the first person to run while everyone else is just staring or trying to investigate. Things like this are harmless and if people outside of the group repeat them, whether as a comedian or as a writer trying to emulate a black person in a narrative, it’s less likely to be seen as offensive. 

3. Positivity – instead of focusing on perceived negative traits of a group, focus on positive things that are often observed about this group, like perceived intelligence, glowy skin, great sense of style, confidence, compassion, etc.  

This is not to say that you can never say anything bad about a character from a marginalized group, treating characters as individuals is one of the best ways to write diversity. It’s when you paint an entire community with the same negative brush that you introduce bigotry into your story where it shouldn’t be. 

Slurs & Self-Importance 

This last section is a bit of a catch-all, with elements of misogyny, homophobia, and sanism/mental health stigmatization. Several characters throw around slurs (mainly the f-slur) like it’s their job, make sweeping negative comments about women and girls, and there’s a pointed scene where Finch makes unsavory comments about mental illness. All of these are crammed in here because I think Niven’s reasoning for all of them is the same: authentic teenage voice. Teenagers often say insensitive, bigoted things (probably even more so at the time Niven was in high school), and I personally have encountered people who thought being depressed was a personality trait that made them interesting when I was in school. So, in a way, Niven kind of nails the “teen voice” she was going for. 

With that being said, a lot of these sentiments go unchallenged, and because they take up so much space in the narrative, it starts to feel like it’s less the characters being teens and more just Niven saying things she believes but might be too afraid to say without the guise of character. That may be an uncharitable way of reading All the Bright Places, but as I say in my coaching sessions, themes are often subconsciously included in your writing. That may or may not be the case here. 

Saying things like, “I’m the only one who’s just Theodore Finch” in response to other kids voicing their diagnoses, and constant remarks about girls being “bitchy” or “putting out” is unhelpful and reinforces negative thinking about people with mental illnesses and women/girls. It just feels sloppy at best and purposefully malicious at worst. And it doesn’t help that pretty much every character believes and thinks the same exact things. Sexist comments are made in Violet’s POV and Finch’s POV, both Roamer and Finch seem to be fine with saying slurs and no character protests the use of them, and both Amanda and Finch look down on their peers in the suicide prevention group. 

Fixing Audience Perceptions & Narrative Failings 

So what to do? How do you stay true to character voice while not further marginalizing people or having audiences assume you agree with harmful stances? After all, not every character is going to be a good person or always be on the right side of a debate. Here are some tips: 

1. Push back on bad ideas – while not every piece of media has to have a morality attached to it, it is always a good idea to have more than one opinion reflected in a work — especially with more black and white issues. Giving equal weight or only a platform to a hurtful/negative opinions is how you further harmful thinking and behavior toward marginalized groups. Offering an opposing opinion backed with evidence or other character support can go a long way 

2. More than one representation – having more than one character from a certain marginalized demographic can help drastically. If Character A is bigoted and cantankerous, and Character B is kind and charming while still flawed, you’re demonstrating diversity within the group and your depiction feels less like an attack and more like it’s true to life. Finch has uncomfortable ideas about others, so having Violet have less similar ideas to him could have helped tremendously. Both would be authentic voices of depressed teens while still pushing back on those unconscionable attitudes 

3. Positioning of the character – the Humbert Humbert’s and Joe Goldberg’s of the reading world are main characters with disgusting thoughts and actions that don’t necessarily have people to push back on their disgusting rhetoric, but we still have the sense that the author disapproves. Why? It’s not just because the author publicly condemns the character and their thoughts/actions, it’s because they’re written in such a way that positions their thoughts and actions as creepy, deplorable, and disturbed. Author’s voice matters, so use yours to give the reader the sense that what’s being said or done isn’t right 

With that, I take my leave! If you want to see my full review of All the Bright Places to get a better sense of the story and see what Niven does right and you should try to emulate, click here. If you’re interested in our coaching sessions where we go into depth about topics like this and more to help you finish your manuscript, you can schedule here. If you need help writing better characters that are diverse but not offensive, you can try our character workbook and planner! Happy Writing!